She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
