My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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