Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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