Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
