So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
