idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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