A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
