My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
