lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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