I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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