Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
