ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
how do flat chested girls get laid?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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