no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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