I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
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