how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion