So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Farmville is her only friend.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
