the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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