He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize