Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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