i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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