WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
