I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
