i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
