this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
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