I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
