I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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