i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
