you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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