tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
