I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
