Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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