Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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