im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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