It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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