Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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