Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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