try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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