Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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