If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
