Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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