My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
