Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
