Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
