My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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