i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
