..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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