I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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