whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
im holly from the hills drunk
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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