Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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