RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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