Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
