Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
