Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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