obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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