Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
