i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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