I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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